“Let there be Light”... and it Came to Pass!
By Bobby Wallinger
When the author of, what some refer to as, “The Good Book” recorded the words, “Let there be light”, the reference was of a divine nature, but were scribes to make such a recording today, the reference would be, “let there be light, and more light, and much more light than mankind has ever imagined”.
Now if, to some, this seems a gross exaggeration, I would maintain the individuals who find this ridiculous have NOT gone to a local hardware emporium for the purpose of purchasing a, (yes, I only wanted one), light bulb.
Believe it or not, there are people around who require only ONE LIGHT BULB. Simple task, do you agree? Well, fie on you. While it is possible to make a single purchase, the big question is which bulb to buy?
Walking into Orchard Supply Hardware the other day, I casually
glanced at the signage hanging
between the various isles, describing the merchandise to be found.
“Electrical/Light Bulbs”, oh joy, oh rapture, I was well on my way
to being able to replace the burned out bulb in the lamp on my
nightstand. (It’s only been out for about two weeks but I have
finally grown weary of banging my knee on the small table and
stubbing my toe on the conduit that holds the plugs for my phone,
alarm clock and non-working lamp.) Yes, indeed, I needed to end my
period of procrastination or risk having my shins and feet look like
a topographical map of the “Rockies” and/or gone one too many rounds
in a championship “kick-boxing” tournament.
O.K., so back to my light bulb quest. Upon arriving at the
assigned aisle, I looked in horror at what
could only be described as a veritable wall of light bulbs most of
which looked totally unfamiliar.
There were Dura Brights with 120 watts that, according to the
packaging info would “last 13-times
longer”…longer than what? I pondered and gently extrapolating my age
and the amount of time I
normally leave ANY light on, let alone a 120 watt dude that would
light the interior of my entire home, I
determined this was not the bulb for me.
Walking the length of this, “wall of light”, I was astounded at
the variety of shape, color, wattage and
purpose of each bulb.
I just wanted a plain old light bulb to place in my 33-year old bedroom light. But alas, that was not going to be an easy find. There was candelabra base, 3-way Ecobulbs that last 9, yes, NINE years. Hmmmm, again with the extrapolation technique. Will I be around in nine years to see it expire? Or, heaven forbid, will I expire prior to my light bulb, leaving a legacy of light for my grandchildren…well, it’s probably a better deal for them than the hundred shoe boxes filled with unidentified photos of people who expired about the time Thomas Edison was designing the light bulb.
Still I continued my search. There were round outdoor flood
lights and round indoor flood lights.
Some were pyramid shaped. Curley Black light bulbs caught my
attention as did curly yellow “Bug
Lights”…stupid me; I never knew bugs needed lights.
I passed “Party” lights in red, green, and blue hues, again curly
in design. Again, silly me, I did not
realize one required special lights to have a party. I am so old
fashioned I believed all you need for a
great party is interesting guests, great food, and a variety of
beverages. Oh, well, live and learn. LED
“guide lights” to plug in along your hall, and even “mercury vapor”
lights (sounds kind of Si-Fi to me),
for special outdoor appliances.
Where to begin? Ah, Eureka, I have found it or at least almost
“it” at least this looked like a light
bulb!
Just then Jerry arrived, one of favorite hardware guys at OSH to
rescue me from the mire. “Let me
explain the differences” and in no time at all my hero had explained
the basic difference between
Incandescent, (a 40-watt requires 40 units of energy), while the use
of a CFL requires only 13 units of
energy to create 40 watts of light.” It was a no-brainer, even for
me. Less energy, same amount of
light…bless you Jerry, “there is a light at the end of the tunnel”.